Melvin - 19 - Holland - transgender ftm - Instagram: MelvinVrijburg
No shave November is over!
Turkish actress now a ‘free man’ after a decision to change genders
Interview by Ayşe Arman | Hürriyet
The 26-year-old actress-turned-actor said that throughout his life he never felt like a woman, but instead always identified as a male.
The story of how Nil Erkoçlar came to change his gender is a long one, which began at the age of six. “I was not like other girls. I didn’t play with Barbie dolls, but hung out with boys,” he said, stressing that when he was born he was a girl “only physically.”
He said he never wanted to wear dresses when he was a little girl, and always rejected the feminine role he was born into as he felt himself to be a boy inside. However, he never told his story to anyone. “When I entered into adolescence everything hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that I liked girls, but I had a women’s body. This was really hard for me,” Erkoçlar said.
Although he was physically a very beautiful woman, he felt no connection to how he looked. “I never wanted to be like that, [with a woman’s body]. I wanted to change my body and become free again,” he said.
Eventually Erkoçlar decided to undergo an operation, as what he was going through had become unbearable for him. “I was acting the way society wanted me to all the time. I had short hair and people told me, ‘you are an actress; you should let your hair grow.’ I put in artificial hair extensions. I really wanted to do my job well, but I was always acting in controversial ways.”
As a result of the conflicted life he was living, and after decades of inner struggle, Erkoçlar decided to have a sex change. As he changed his sex, he also changed his name and become “Rüzgar.” “I felt as if I was born again after the operation. Nil was dead and Rüzgar was born instead,” Erkoçlar said. His sex reassignment surgery included a mastectomy and the forming of a penis from parts of his leg bone.
My sexuality, my choice
Before undergoing the operation, Erkoçlar began to take hormones and underwent a series of therapies to prepare him psychologically for the end result of his gender reassignment.
“You feel angry [when you take hormones], and you gradually observe some changes in your mind. I feel better now. the sex-change operation was a really hard and painful process. It was very hard to endure, but I put up with all these things to get rid of the burden I had been carrying for 26 years,” he said.
One of the hardest parts of identifying as a man on the inside with a female body on the outside was the interest that other men directed toward him, Nil Erkoçlar added. “I have never loved, nor had a relationship with a man. I always had affairs with women, but I had to conceal this all the time,” he said.
Still, he always managed to conceal his male identity. “I risked everything by going through this, and I don’t expect everyone to accept me as I am. They are free to accept or refuse me. But I am a man and that is my own reality. Only my body was different. Now I have found myself,” he said.
With regard to the reactions he has received from the press and society on various social media platforms, Erkoçlar stressed that such reactions did not concern him. “This is my choice, my life, my sexuality. So it doesn’t concern anyone. That’s what I think,” he said.
Here’s some random pictures of my face! In case you wondered or forgot what I look like ;)
Video Part One Up Now! Young hitchhiker Fritz was looking for a way to get to the big city when along comes Owen Gray, who just so happens to be heading that way! Owen pulls over and offers Fritz a ride, but when Fritz doesn’t have any money for gas he tells him they’ll have to figure something out! A ride for a ride is only fair, so Owen takes Fritz into the woods to pound his holes with his huge raw uncut cock and blows his load all over Fritz’s adorable twinkish face! This smoking hot gay FTM and cis male scene is one you can’t afford to miss!
Music by Juba Kalamka